We fall in love the moment our children are placed in our arms—whether by birth or by bond. From that point forward, we pour ourselves into raising them. We’re there to bandage scraped knees, offer hugs after heartbreaks, listen patiently to stories and worries, and guide them when they seek direction. Our role is to protect, support, and empower them.
As fall approaches and your child heads off to college, a new chapter begins—for both of you. With that independence comes new responsibilities, and often, uncomfortable truths. One of the most important (and least talked about) is this: once your child turns 18, you no longer have automatic authority to make decisions or access information about their health or finances.
That’s why it’s essential to have two simple legal documents in place: a Financial Power of Attorney (FPOA) and a Health Care Directive (HCD). These tools ensure you're still able to step in when needed, offering support even from miles away.
Financial Power of Attorney (FPOA): Access When It Matters Most
An FPOA allows your child (the “principal”) to designate someone they trust—like a parent—as their “agent” to handle financial matters on their behalf. This authority can be crucial in emergencies, when your child is abroad, or even when handling mundane but important tasks like dealing with banks or tuition billing offices.
You may be thinking: “I want my child to learn independence.” Absolutely. But independence doesn’t mean isolation—especially when unforeseen situations arise.
A real-world example:
When my daughter went to South Korea as a foreign exchange student, we felt well-prepared. She had signed her FPOA, and we notified the bank. But a month into her stay, she called in a panic—her debit and credit cards weren’t working. I called the bank to help, only to be stonewalled. Even with the FPOA in place, the branch hadn’t updated their system, and the overseas partner bank wouldn’t talk to me. Eventually, I had to re-present the documents in person and ask them to update their records—again. Only then could I resolve the issue. This kind of access can be critical, especially for students traveling or living abroad.
Health Care Directive (HCD): Protection in Medical Emergencies
A Health Care Directive (or Living Will) enables your child to specify the type of medical care they wish to receive if they are unable to communicate. It also allows them to designate a Health Care Agent—typically a parent—who can make decisions on their behalf.
This document may seem daunting, but it's a vital piece of emergency planning. At 18, your child is legally an adult. Under the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA), health care providers cannot share medical information with you without explicit authorization—not even in emergencies.
A personal story:
My daughter, an active college soccer player, suffered an injury during an away game. She later fell down the stairs at her dorm and was rushed to the hospital with a concussion. Because her school had her signed HCD on file—and someone had the foresight to bring it with her—the hospital was able to treat her appropriately and communicate with me as her Health Care Agent. The doctors were able to proceed confidently, knowing there was someone authorized to speak on her behalf.
What to Do Before Move-In Day
Before your child heads to college:
Have the conversation—explain the importance of these documents in language they understand.
Draft and sign the documents—with a licensed attorney or through a trusted legal service.
Check jurisdictional validity—some states and universities have specific requirements. Confirm that the forms are recognized where your child will attend school.
Distribute copies wisely—your child should keep a digital and physical copy. You should also keep a copy on hand. If they’ll be studying abroad, tuck a copy into their luggage.
Notify key institutions—banks, insurance providers, and universities should have the documents on file where appropriate.
Final Thought
No one wants to imagine their child in crisis. But parenting doesn’t stop at age 18—it simply evolves. With the right planning, you can give your child freedom and independence without sacrificing your ability to protect and advocate for them when it matters most.
Now is the time to prepare—before the bags are packed, the dorm is decorated, and the whirlwind of college life begins. If you are interested in learning more, please do not hesitate to reach out to Leonetta Rence, CTFAatlrence@cornerstonetrust.net.